What time is it?

If you said somewhere between a quarter past “over-it” and half-past “crazy train going off of the rails,” I’d say, “yep, that’s me, too!”

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All opinions are my own. It is my Universe, after all.

Is this the real life?

As we come out of our homes into the blinding light of the outside world, I can’t be the only one finding the shift back as hard (or harder) than the shift into pandemic living. As the mom of two atypical thinkers who lost their schedules on about… well, let’s be honest, day two, #MOMFAIL, we have been a mess. We have slept on our terms, played video games, and had screen time to excess, and yes, I know you’re judging me. I’m judging me.

Back to my point at hand, these kids aren’t scarred for life. WHEW! Thank goodness.

I know we are all praying that our children will come out on the other side of the pandemic with only a few bumps and bruises and, hopefully, with funny stories of failed Zoom classes more than anything else. And this mom, for one, is hoping the mistakes she made along the way fall along the “Kelly Clarkson I didn’t kill them, so I must have made them stronger category.”

But on a more serious note, that idea of creating an emotional buffer around bad experiences also ties in with Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

I have discussed previously that the best way to be sure your child is emotionally buffered from adverse events  is to make sure that they feel safe, stable, and nurtured (look back on that post about ACEs for more about SSNREs). While they know they are loved, I have met with both of the kids’ pediatricians to address their growing anxiety levels. Some lifestyle changes were suggested. Some therapeutic changes were made, but knowing I had those doctors on my team really relieved my stress and hopefully is ensuring that my kids will be laughing at me for years on my couch as they remember these days rather than crying on another.

Pediatricians are an important resource, and you can see your child’s doctor for more than ear infections and tetanus shots. Pediatricians can direct you to support, so lean on them so you can pass along that help to your kids. Your pediatrician should be part of your child’s “three.”

Being a “3” means being a team player

Speaking of a team (and if you look back on those old posts, I talked about #findyour3), however, I could not have gotten through this year alone. I have a team of moms that keeps my head on straight. Some online and some IRL (in real life), we buoy each other so we can buoy our children. One thing I have learned recently is that children are less affected by a traumatic event and more by whether they have a nurturing environment.  So while we can’t always prevent these potentially traumatic events from happening, we can buffer against toxic stress through our support and the support of other trusted adults. For me, however, I needed a little help myself. Just as Joe Cocker sang, I got by with a little help from my friends.

But not everyone has that support system. Frankly, I have never been without 3 dozen, much less “3,” so I feel it is so important to stand up and work together to create policies so that every child has access to their three.

But also, I’m lucky. Because just before I become the joke of a Bugs Bunny cartoon and start blowing my top, I have those friends and I have a great pediatrician. More so, I have family members that have been there for me to provide childcare when the kids were younger. But not everyone has that support system. Frankly, I have never been without 3 dozen, much less “3,” so I feel it is so important to stand up and work together to create policies so that every child has access to their three.

Don’t have them through personal connections? You can find them through community connections. Schools, neighbors, community programs such as the Boys and Girls Club—they’re all great places to find your child’s support system. Or to get involved and be part of someone’s “three.”

Until then, I stand ready to help you. If you’re reading this, let me know how I can support you today. Because I will lend you my ears, and I will not stand up and walk away.

My kids have their three, and I am part of someone else’s ‘three.’ I want you to be, too.