Play With Me Mommy
I don't talk about my health much here. I have, however, talked about my Control Issues. Unfortunately, I have some health issues that affect my energy and stress levels.Less Than Awesome Health + Problems Letting Go = Trouble Stopping Whatever the H-E-Hockey Sticks I Am Doing and Just BeWhen it comes to taking time to play with kids: Take the above equation and multiply by 2.Did I lose you yet? Yeah, I thought so. Let me step back. I love my kids. I am very involved in many aspects of their lives. I "do" a lot with them. I help with my son's homework. I sing the ABC's with my daughter while she washes her hands. I teach them the 50 States while riding in the car.I am really good at "doing" things.And as I have mentioned before, I have really high standards and a great difficulty letting others help me. So with limited energy, ridiculous expectations, and two kids, it is very hard for me to sit down and "play" with my children.That is hard for me to say.When my daughter sits down with her Barbies or Strawberry Shortcake, she says, "Mommy, will you play with me?" Sometimes, I sit down with her but truthfully, my heart has not always been in it. My body is there but my mind is often running my "To Do" list.Earlier this week, I wrote about how tightly I have been holding on and how I haven't been truly enjoying my children being children. And so this week, I have tried to be more conscious with my children. I have tried to just "play".Why is it so hard? I'm not sure but it makes me sad that it isn't easy to just sit with a Barbie in hand and enjoy. If I have an agenda, if I have a goal, I can rock the casbah. But ask me to sit aimlessly, even with either of my two favorite munchkins, and I am as fidgety as Julia Roberts in her first meditation in "Eat, Pray, Love".I realize how quickly these precious days will be gone. The days of my kiddos asking me to play will be gone before I know it. And I don't want regrets. So I am trying. To "do" less. To "be" more.Because when it is all said and "done", "being" the best Mommy I can be should be number one on the To-Do List.