If you missed the start of My Story, here is part one.After two years of acting school, I was headed to Showcase Season. For those who you who have never experienced it, this is an opportunity to perform a scene for casting directors and agents in hopes of kick-starting a career. I'm not gonna lie, it's a big deal.And I was excited. I had started to feel confident as an actress and I had a well-received showcase in San Francisco. So I caught a plane to New York; to my destiny if you will.
I performed my scene and went home to my hotel and waited for the calls. And waited. And waited...My room-mates woke up to calls. I woke up to "You have no messages". It was a devastating blow. It felt like the entire acting world had looked me over and judged me wanting. What had I spent the last two years of my life working for? What had I spent the last 27 years dreaming about? Had my entire life been wasted? Yes, that's where I was. A very, very dark place.Each day I checked that messaging service. (This was 1998 -- before cell phones). One day, I did get a call. It was from the Williamstown Theatre Festival for a call-back. This should have been an amazing moment in my life. Williamstown is an amazing festival knnown for helping to shape many a successful career. Instead, I was so lost in my sense of rejection that I blew the call-back. And thus I headed back to San Francisco.As tough as it was in New York. I had to go back to class with my fellows who had received many calls. I sat around in a circle with actors who got calls (and who have gone on to become very successful; famous even). For the first couple of weeks, it was torture. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. Aside from my brother's death, it was the lowest point in my life. I tried to ignore the voices that told me that everyone was looking at me as a huge failure. The voice in my head was really loud, however. I carried it to class and into auditions. It all seemed such a waste of time.Each morning, however, I got up and went to class. Something told me to not give up. So I didn't. I went to Los Angeles and got the same result. I decided I was going to go back to San Francisco and I was going to find an acting career. I was just going to have to try harder, work more, and not give up. I envisioned myself as being "inspirational" to others as I sat on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" (Again, it was still the 90's, she wasn't just Oprah yet) telling of how I kept believing and finally made my dreams come true.And so the work continued...
