Tears of a Clown

We are all shocked and dismayed at the loss of the iconic Robin Williams. He was a tremendous talent who gave 100% to every project from a blue genie to a teacher that put all others to shame. His heart and soul was on display with every performance and we all felt that we knew him. Obviously, we did not know the depth of his pain and the tremendous desperation he must have felt.Suicide has touched my life. In a shocking and fairly recent way, a person who I loved and for whom I had great respect and admiration was taken by depression. Please notice that I said taken. Because depression is as evil a disease as cancer. It is real. It is debilitating, And sometimes it kills.It is easy to think of suicide as a selfish choice. It leaves giant wounds from which some never recover. But it assumes a consciousness and rationality that is stolen with depression. Before we judge those who make this most horrible choice, think of the pain that must have driven such a decision. These people need help, not judgment. Unfortunately, despite all the access money and fame could offer him, Mr. Williams was not able to find that help.Let's all take this great loss to look to those around us who struggle with the same disease. Many of us have probably been guilty of saying "just smile and you'll feel better". I know I have been done it. Depression is harder to understand because we don't see the wounds. The scars are left on the heart not the body and we too often don't respect those wounds. They are just as real.This is a moment to have a real discussion about mental health. Let's not lose it like we have so many other problems as they fade from the headlines. I am sure that all of us have someone in our lives who is crying for help in one way or another. Some suffer in silence and some suffer loudly through substance abuse or other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Either way, the suffering is no less real.I am still mad and sad. I still feel helpless and have unanswered questions. I am sure that the Williams family shares the same burden. I send them my prayers. I also send prayers to all who feel so desperate that the most dreaded decision makes sense.  Because it is the haze of the disease that makes the senseless seem sensible.